


my heart burns dry, i'll get wet with you

by niniwoos



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Dom/sub Undertones, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Daddy Kink, Mutual Pining, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Size Difference, Size Kink, Strength Kink, chankai realizing they are in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:49:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22419535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niniwoos/pseuds/niniwoos
Summary: Falling in love with Chanyeol's body was easy. Admitting to himself he was in love with Chanyeol was harder.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 16
Kudos: 95





	my heart burns dry, i'll get wet with you

**Author's Note:**

> this is a reupload.
> 
> update 10-2-20  
> hi! if you are still reading this fic, thank you so much! I am currently working on the second half of this fic (after so long) and I am editing the original to have capitalized letters.. I've heard people tell me that they cannot focus on the text if it's not capitalized, which I didn't even think about when I first uploaded it. It should be updated soon, as I have to go through and manually change all the lowercase to capitalized...
> 
> update 10-3-20  
> finally i finished capitalizing everything!!! just to let you guys know,, i AM working on the second part and i'm so excited to share it with you all. thank you for reading. as always, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated

Life between comebacks is somehow both torturously slow and so fast paced that a moment of peace is hard to come by. Jongin is always keeping himself busy in some way, dancing, working out, vocal lessons. He picked up more acting lessons on their break, desperate to do anything at all. He stays out of the dorms well past midnight, doesn’t make it home until most of the other members are already asleep. Someone might think he does it on purpose, always busy, always having somewhere else to be, always on the run. He justifies it saying he does all of that in order to improve, turn into a better version of himself. Maybe deep in his mind there's a reason to explain all of it.

It’s one of the nights that he fully booked himself, staying out until 3 in the morning, that it happens. He doesn’t get back to the dorms until half past 4 in the morning, tired and hungry, maybe he had just overdone himself, and just wishing life could go by faster while giving him more hours in the day. When he gets home, he finds Chanyeol in the kitchen, wearing nothing but sleep pants, that was a decisive moment, one that he will remember forever, maybe he was so tired that he didn’t register what he saw until the next morning, but the way his hyung’s muscles flexed under the dim lights will be stamped in his mind forever.

It's only because he’s so tired that he comes up behind him to hug him. It's moments like this, when the dorms are quiet, and it’s just him and Chanyeol, what he loves the most. Chanyeol reaches back to curl his arms around him, patting him on the bum. These are the moments where Jongin realises he could never give his friendship with Chanyeol up. He's one of his longest friendships, someone he can confide in, someone he trusts wholly.

“I knew you’d get back late, so I ordered some chicken. I was just about to put it in the microwave to reheat it for you.” Chanyeol puts the plate he had sat down on the stove in the microwave, quickly punching in the time. He turns them around, pushing Jongin against the stove and turning to wrap his arms around him. Jongin could moan. Of course his hyung got him food, he has always taken care of him. Since predebut Chanyeol has treated him like something precious and fragile, and he became dependent on the attention the taller gave him, always attentive to all his needs.

He can’t help when his brain short-circuits, the way Chanyeol manhandles him going straight to a pleasurable part of his brain. That's what he wants, above everything. To be taken care of, to not have to think of himself. To have someone he trusts fully that thinks of him when he doesn’t think of himself... and it’s undeniably Chanyeol who gives him that. He makes him feel safe. He is sure that the tall boy with big ears, strong arms, and rough hands will always be there for him, no matter what.

“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, hyung,” Jongin murmurs into the other’s chest, too sleepy to acknowledge the deep meaning behind that phrase. He doesn’t remember burying his face in Chanyeol’s chest, but it’s so comfortable he doesn’t want to move at all. He doesn’t recall the moment his hyung became so big, but it's mesmerizing the way the other can cage him with both arms. Chanyeol chuckles and he can feel his chest moving, can sense the smile on the older’s face. Jongin would do anything to keep that smile there.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

It started out as a healthy admiration, someone to look at. Jongin was impressed with how Chanyeol could build muscle and tone, how he makes it seem so effortless, his body having such fine lines, every single muscle well defined. It wasn't anything strange, nothing out of the ordinary. Jongin admired his hyung, and he liked to see his muscles. It was natural to like things that are beautiful, just pure admiration. So Jongin found it near impossible to tear his gaze away when Chanyeol's muscles start bulging and flexing, tight under his skin, shifting as he lifted weights. He liked to watch the way Chanyeol’s thighs would flex when he walked or danced, the way his biceps would bulge when he showed off his muscles… it was natural to admire him…

Jongin realised, albeit a little belatedly, that his admiration for Chanyeol’s muscles might be a bit out of the ordinary. He was always looking, always watching his hyung’s muscles, always getting lost in what was such a mesmerizing sight, he couldn’t help thinking about them all the time. Even when he was alone, trying to fall asleep, flashes of Chanyeol’s muscles flexing behind his heavy eyelids… he would still justify it saying it was natural… natural admiration… nothing out of the ordinary.

The straw that broke the camel's back came during tempo era. Everything was fine before then, Jongin could push his near obsession with the older’s muscles out of his head. Seeing the older in tight fitting black clothing, all his muscles on display, that was it for Jongin. The fire alarms went crazy in his head, signaling the worst was yet to come. Before he knew it, he was having thoughts of him. Chanyeol holding him down, lifting him, forcing him down.

it was all Jongin could do not to phase out of existence, always surrounded by the other and his larger frame. No one should be that large and mouthwatering. Things were getting out of control, there was no turning back, no brakes to hold him down. Jongin tried to focus on the other members, following Kyungsoo and Sehun around. Doing whatever he could to avoid the giant with great muscles. Obviously, it didn’t work. Before he knew it Chanyeol was cornering him in their shared room.

“why have you been avoiding me, nini?” the elder asked innocently. It was getting hard to breathe for Jongin, the way Chanyeol’s biceps were flexing while his hands were on the wall, so close to his face, mere centimeters from his throat. Jongin couldn’t help but fantasize about them- the large hands holding his hips, tugging on his hair, being choked by them. He snapped back to reality when he saw the worried frown on the other’s face, but how could Jongin tell the older that every time he saw him, arousal started to pool in his stomach and it took everything in him not to get hard and pounce on him?

“I'm not, it's just that I want to spend more time with the others sometimes, okay hyung?” Jongin smiled placatingly up at the other, and that was such a bad idea, because from that angle Chanyeol’s arm looked so big and bulky. Without thinking he brought his hand up to the other’s arm, squeezing his bicep. Another big mistake, if you asked him afterwards. He could feel the strength under the older’s arm, the give of the muscle. It made him blank out and he almost missed Chanyeol asking him if he wanted lunch.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Jongin knew how the pictures looked before he even posted them. He looked, well, raunchy, in the high waisted denim pants and the cropped beige sweater. The neck was low and loose, revealing his long neck and collar bones. He had a black scarf wrapped around his throat like a choker, tied off at the end. The ends of the tie could almost meet the bottom hem of his sweater. in both of the selfies half of his face was cut off, which made it feel even more inappropriate. He had his head tilted to the side in the second one, as if baring his throat in submission.

Jongin knew how the photos looked, and yet he still posted them to his instagram anyways. He posted them because he wanted to get his hyung’s attention. He wanted to be the center of Chanyeol's universe, if only for a few minutes.

Jongin fiddled nervously with his phone before locking it and setting it down on the vanity in his bathroom. There was no use in dwelling on it. He would go on with his day as normal.

anxiety ate at Jongin as he went about his normal activities. He was in the practice room with Sehun when the younger gave him a funny look.

“why did you post such weird pictures, Jongin?” Sehun asked him with his face screwed up.

Jongin spluttered, facing going dark with a flush as he denied what he was saying. He deleted them before five hours had passed.

later that night, Jongin was rolling in his bed, the day’s event catching up to him and making him tired. His phone pinged from where it was sat on his bedside table, plugged into the charger.

yeollie hyung  
Jongin  
You looked good  
But don’t post photos like that again

something warm and tight settled into the pit of Jongin’s stomach at the messages.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

  
Chanyeol had been asked by Park Jooho to come on the return of SuperMan and take some pictures with his daughter and son. It was a good opportunity, and Jongin was glad Chanyeol was getting to go back onto the show. He didn’t stop gushing about the twins the last time he went with Baekhyun for nearly a year. It was up to Chanyeol to decide who to bring with him. Jongin's heart fluttered when Chanyeol asked him if he would like to accompany him on the show.

Taking care of children was something Jongin loved to do. And he loved to be around Chanyeol, normally. His mind was going haywire at the thought of how domestic it would look. He and Chanyeol with two small children, taking photos together as if they were a family. Jongin couldn’t deny his hyung. He’d just have to get over his feelings and do this for Chanyeol.

It was not that easy. Chanyeol and Jongin had on sweaters that matched the color with Naeun, the cute girl that they would be watching over together. It looked like couple outfits. Jongin couldn’t help but think of actually wearing couple outfits with his hyung. He shook his head as a way to get rid of the thought of them both in cute shirts that had bears on them. His hyung would look so soft and cuddly like that. Jongin’s heart was melting at the mental image he had conjured.

Jongin and Chanyeol were at a photo studio, waiting for Naeun and Gunhoo to arrive. Jongin was hiding within a tree costume, and Chanyeol curled his long body up under a snowman. Jongin couldn’t stop giggling at Chanyeol, he looked so ridiculous. Underneath the snowman costume, Chanyeol’s hair was let down and his jeans were ripped. He looked so casual and handsome that it nearly took Jongin’s breath away.

When Naeun and Gunhoo arrived at the studio, Jongin and Chanyeol both stayed as still as they could. Before long, Jongin fell over and he had to reveal himself to the children. The look on their faces was so precious to Jongin that he couldn’t help but laugh.

Chanyeol moved in his snowman costume and shocked Gunhoo so much he fell over and dropped his bottle. Naeun seemed so excited though, saying hello and welcoming them both. She didn’t know who they were, so they introduced themselves as their uncles. Chanyeol asked her if they were old enough to be uncles or if they were still considered her oppa, and she told them they looked like older brothers. the smile and laugh that Chanyeol let out warmed Jongin’s heart.

Each time Chanyeol would laugh he would fall over or touch Jongin. And each time it happened Jongin’s heart started pounding. It shouldn’t mean so much to him that Chanyeol holds onto his arm as he laughs, but Jongin’s heart swelled at the way his hyung clung to him.

Chanyeol called Johoo from his phone, letting the kids talk to their dad. It was so adorable to see Gunhoo walk around with the phone and talk with his father. After the phone call ended, Naeun pointed out that they all matched with their red clothes. Chanyeol held Gunhoo in his arms as Jongin sat next to him and talked to Naeun. Gunhoo was one, and he was so adorable. He reminded Jongin of when Raeon was still that little.

Naeun wanted to play hide and seek so Jongin obliged, finding her every time she hid. After that he pushed her in the car while Chanyeol held Gunhoo, who was still drinking his milk. Once he finished with his milk, Jongin stood in the middle of the room and danced to ‘three bears’ while singing the lyrics. Both Naeun and Gunhoo tried to copy his moves as well. After that, for the cameras if for nothing else, Jongin danced to a hip-hop version of the song. Naeun told him he didn’t look cool, and he got pouty.

Chanyeol had brought his guitar as well and he started playing it and they all had a little jam session, and it felt so domestic and sweet that Jongin’s teeth ached. if he had his own family like this, he’d want to have this. A husband that knew how to play music and take care of children. someone like Chanyeol. He shook the thought out of his head while Chanyeol went to the door to get Toben.

Toben was cute, and the kids really seemed to like him. It was enough to distract Jongin from the blinding smiles Chanyeol was aiming at him and the children. He sat off to the side as Naeun played with toben and gave him commands.

After Toben was settled down and the kids were done playing with him, Jongin played with Naeun’s hair as he explained why they were there today. It was to take photos to make into Christmas cards and sell. After they sold the cards they would donate the profits. They got the children dressed up in their outfits with some help from the crew. Jongin was holding Gunhoo in his arms with the baby fell asleep. They tried keeping him awake but he was out like a light.

They took the photos with Gunhoo asleep on Jongin’s lap. Naeun sat in Chanyeol’s arms. They truly looked like a little family. Jongin’s heart ached. He wanted this. two children and a dog. and he wanted this with Chanyeol.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

It was the day between Jongin and Kyungsoo's birthday. Chanyeol had decided to take them both out for dinner, and there was no way Jongin could refuse his hyung. He pushed down the butterflies in his stomach, threatening to leave through his mouth in words such as 'i love you, hyung'.

Chanyeol said he could invite anyone he wanted, so he invited Moonkyu. It was a little tense, sitting at the barbecue place, Jongin was sitting by Moonkyu, across from Chanyeol. Chanyeol was smiling his smile with too many teeth, his dimple appearing and Jongin wanted to melt. Really, how could he ever regret his feelings for his hyung?

As if to make it worse, Chanyeol was paying for the meal as well. They ordered three things of meat, and plenty of side dishes to go along with it. It wasn't cheap in any sense, and Jongin would have felt the dent in his wallet if he had paid. Of course, it was Chanyeol though. Chanyeol would always be the one to open his wallet to take care of his dongsaeng.

After they ate most of the food, and all their bellies were in the comfortable place between full and too full, came gift giving. Moonkyu had already gifted Jongin a sweater, something soft and nice on Jongin's skin. Kyungsoo gave him a nice watch, something that looked nice with most clothing.

Chanyeol, well, Chanyeol had gone all out for Jongin's present. sitting on the table between them was a brand new laptop, the same kind that Chanyeol used for his mixing. when Chanyeol brought it out, Jongin couldn't help but gasp. When Chanyeol had asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said a computer, he didn't really expect the older to buy one for him.

He was speechless. All he could do was thank his hyung, saying how thankful he was to be gifted something so expensive and nice. There was a weight in Jongin's stomach, a feeling that he would never be able to repay the older for this.

Chanyeol waved his thanks off, insisting that it was something that Jongin deserved, that he wanted to buy it for him for christmas but didn't have the chance. Jongin could only smile and accept the gift.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Jongin couldn’t be there when minseok left for enlistment. He had family duties, something that comes before even Exo. Jongin spends the day with his family, but he sends lots of messages to his members, also even if he didn't admit it out loud he felt lonely, he knows that he must be and look strong, but right know he needs some comfort. He misses a pair of strong arms around him so he decides on taking a look on social media, he comments on minseok’s instagram post, reminding him to stay healthy and that he loves him. He looks at the photo the members upload, he feels a warmth spread inside him with every single picture. His eyes starts roaming, secretly searching for a certain someone in each of the photos, whenever he spots him a smile blooms on his face, and like the art of magic his phone vibrates signaling a new message had arrived.

yeollie hyung  
Hey Nini  
How's everything going?  
Are you feeling ok?  
Wanna talk about it?

me  
umm… everything is fine, you know how this is supposed to go…  
and I’m the man of the family, so i SHOULD be ok.  
thanks for caring about me

yeollie hyung  
Shouldn’t you be with your family?  
What are you doing on Instagram?  
You never comment on my instagram posts T.T  
You never say you love me.  
Should I be jealous of Minseok hyung?

me  
i wanted to take a break for a little bit  
and i shouldn’t have to  
comment on your posts, that is  
i always say i love you  
don’t be jealous

yeollie hyung  
Tell me you love me  
Right now, Nini  
Tell me how much you love me

me  
i’m not going to do it now  
i’ll call you tonight  
plus you really know how I feel about you…  
thanks for everything hyung

Jongin does call him that night. He calls him and he cries about how much he misses his father, and how much he’s going to miss minseok. Chanyeol listens to him blubber over the phone, making reassuring sounds the whole time. when Jongin is calm enough to wipe his eyes, he gets hit with such longing for the other. All he wants is to be curled up, Chanyeol’s hands wiping at his tears instead of his own, right now he needs him the most. He needs to feel safe, he needs to see the goofy smile and the bright eyes that shine only for him, or so he wants to believe.

He gets Chanyeol to sing to him, falling asleep before he knows it. but before that, he keeps his promise. He tells his hyung he loves him. and he means it. Once his breathing evens out, Chanyeol stays on the line just long enough to chuckle fondly and tell him the same.

“And I love you too, nini, I love you too.”

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

The more Jongin thought of Chanyeol and his muscles, the more Jongin craved. His mouth started watering at just the thought of those amazing corded arms, the strong biceps. He could push all his thoughts aside while he was in front of the others, pretend that nothing was wrong. as soon as he was alone, though, he was haunted by visuals of the older. His mind was playing tricks on him, he was clouded by such a strong desire… desire to touch and be touched. He saw Chanyeol picking up heavy boxes, muscles in his arms and back flexing. He saw the way he was commanding but still gentle, nice to everyone but still firm. He saw the way that Chanyeol could probably lift him with ease and carry him around the dorms if he wanted. He let his imagination run wild, things he never thought before were running through his mind. It was torture.

It was during the time he was in Rome, that Jongin finally caved against his desires. After he was done with his schedule for the day, when he was alone in his hotel room, he let his mind wander. There was nothing left to keep him grounded, his desire was building like a savage fire burning from the inside. He was going crazy with pent up desire, he needed a breakthrough. He laid down in bed, mind going back to Seoul, back to all the times he had wished Chanyeol would just pick him up and manhandle him. He realized that his thoughts were no longer that of admiration but instead of pure desire, raw passion, hot flames licking his body and turning him into a horny little creature. Jongin thought to all the times the larger had flexed his muscles in front of him, enticing him. defying him, like showing him the most precious treasure and at the same time taking it away, far from reach. He was going crazy. thoughtlessly, his fingers trailed a path down his naked chest, teasing his sides and nipples.

Jongin shuddered as he pinched a nipple between his fingers, imagining his hyung’s large hand. how much bigger they are than his own, how good they would feel on his chest, on his waist, all over his body. those hands were rough, calloused and so manly, they would feel amazing against his hot skin. Jongin’s other hand continued to trail down towards the waistband of his pants, teasing his navel on the way. He felt that it was wrong ,to think of his hyung, his friend this way, but he couldn’t stop. not when he needed release so badly. He imagined Chanyeol’s thick fingers, so rough from playing guitar. Hands so much bigger than his own, so large and mouthwatering. Jongin continued to tease himself mindlessly, gripping his fingers over his hips, envisioning the bruises that Chanyeol could leave there. His own nails scratching at his skin, the pain turning into pleasure, his mind playing tricks on him.

He was half hard by the time he finally touched his cock, rubbing himself over his pants. He groaned at the friction, it being the best thing currently happening whilst also barely enough to get him any harder. He kept his eyes closed as he thought of Chanyeol, his strong arm holding him down by the hip while his other hand stroked Jongin through his pants. He started wondering, would Chanyeol touch him like this? would he be rough in bed? would he hold the younger down and take, take, take whatever he pleased from him? with each question his member throbbed in anticipation. His breathing got heavier as he finally peeled his pants off. He hissed out as his cock was met with the cool air of the air conditioned room he was staying in. the chill made him shiver, but in a way that only added fuel to the fire burning beneath his skin.

Before his thoughts caught up to his body, he was already tugging on his hard cock, wishing it was Chanyeol’s hand instead of his own, imagining a big calloused hand enveloping his cock in a tight heat. Moving slowly up and down, not too fast or too slow. just the right pace that would cause shivers to travel down Jongin’s spine. Cause his mouth to fall open in silent pleas for more. Jongin thought of all the ways Chanyeol could help him orgasm. Letting him grind against his abs, eating him out, more thoughts than he was ready for flooding his mind. would he ever be ready for that? he thought of the older’s words before he left. Telling him to be a good boy, to not get hurt and to do well. only God knows that he will be such a good boy only for his hyung. He knew it was in an innocent context, but laying down with his hand on his cock, he couldn’t help but flush at the words.

How he wished Chanyeol was there with him, in the same room. Watching him touching himself and praising him, telling him what a good boy he was. that mere thought almost made him come. Jongin wanted that more than anything. He wanted to be his hyung’s good boy. He wanted to just belong to him, to always have him to come back to. He wanted to be like a pet for the older to take care of, someone to make the taller feel good whenever he asked for it. He wanted to have mutual orgasms with him. and with the thought of getting the older man to come, sitting on his lap and grinding his ass back on the taller’s cock, Jongin came with a shout.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Things only got worse for Jongin when he returned from Rome, finally his deepest desires saw the light and would never again remain in the shadows. He couldn’t even look at Chanyeol without thinking of all those dirty, arousing thoughts, it was impossible for him not to salivate at the mere sight of those arms, those hands, all those muscles beneath the pale skin of his savior, because despite everything that had happened his hyung is still his savior. All Chanyeol had to do was gaze at him, brush his large hand over his shoulders, and Jongin was gone. nothing could bring him back from the line he crossed by himself in his hotel room in rome. Now, everytime Chanyeol was around him, it took everything in Jongin not to run away with his cock hard and his face red in shame.

Unfortunately for Jongin, Chanyeol was still working out. He was lifting more and more as he got bigger and bulkier, never skipping a day at the gym. His thighs were so toned, strong like the rest of his body. His abs got more apparent, and his arms were so thick. Jongin couldn’t help but drool when thinking of Chanyeol’s body. It was so enticing, and still, it was getting stronger than it already was.

Jongin’s breaking point came when one of the other members mentioned working out with Chanyeol. It was probably Junmyeon, but Jongin can’t remember exactly who it was that sparked his downfall. the members knew Jongin was trying to train as well, but more of getting toned instead of building muscle. Chanyeol’s face lit up when it was mentioned, working out along with Jongin, and dammit Jongin couldn’t let him down. not after he basically ignored Chanyeol for so long, and maybe it was a good opportunity for proving himself, testing how much he can resist his own urges. and oh boy, later he will know how much Chanyeol can affect him, and how much he can affect his hyung.

So Jongin, albeit reluctantly, agreed to go to the gym with Chanyeol. He told himself it would only be once, that it didn’t have to mean anything, it was a test he will pass with a nice score, or so he thinks. He was so wrong. the cardio machines faced the weight lifting machines, so while Jongin was jogging on the treadmill, he got to watch Chanyeol pulling weight in front of him. at first, Jongin stayed focused on the music he was listening to and his own speed, trying not to tire himself out too quickly.

His attention started to wander about 15 minutes into his jog, and he couldn't keep his eyes off of Chanyeol, he tried but it was such a nice view, truly hard to resist. He was pulling weights, his biceps bulging nicely under his skin. He was wearing a dark tank top, sweat collecting on his chest and under his arms. It was dripping down his neck, so enticing, enhancing his veins, Jongin just wanted to lick it off. He started wondering about the taste, probably a mix between sweet and sour, somewhat salty and so manly. He nearly tripped when he realized his thoughts, a familiar warmth spreading on the pit of his abdomen, slowing his speed from where he was full on sprinting.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

After the intense workout that ended an hour and a half after they arrived, Chanyeol decided to take a shower first. Jongin was fine with that because he needed to calm his mind down from all the dirty thoughts and images racing around his head, and right now his mind was clouded with the image of the other one soaked in sweat and looking hotter than hell. The only problem was that he really needed to pee, like really badly. halfway through the workout he chugged two bottles of water to get his mind off of Chanyeol but that worked about as well as trying to ignore him.

Jongin was outside the bathroom, jumping around between his feet, trying not to pee himself. if he just went in and did it quickly, it would be fine, right? but the odds weren't on his side, it seems easy but it's never easy when Chanyeol is involved, he held his breath and rushed into the bathroom, making it to the stall past the showers and lockers. the whole place was pretty empty, only Chanyeol and himself staying that early into the morning. When he got done relieving himself, he went to the sink to wash his hands, he was trying to be as fast and invisible as he can.

What made him stop in his tracks was what he heard from the showers, he could hear grunting and mumbling. Those sounds in other circumstances could mean something else, but he knew it had to be Chanyeol since they were the only two there, so what was wrong with his hyung? Was he sore from working out? He crept closer to the showers, trying to be quiet, for some strange reasons he didn't want to disturb the other. what he heard next flipped his life upside down.

From outside the shower, all Jongin could see was a silhouette of Chanyeol, and even from afar it was such a beautiful sight, broad shoulders, strong arms and long legs. He was moving around quickly and releasing pained sounds. then, Chanyeol moaned out Jongin’s name. Jongin thought he must be projecting his wishes onto his hyung, but then it happened again.

“Jongin, be my good boy, yeah just like that.” was heard from inside the showers, barely above a whisper and in a deep, raspy voice. It mixed with the water hitting the tiled floors and Jongin turned beet red when he realized what he heard, he wanted to believe that his mind was playing some kind of sick game with him, but the sight before his eyes was real for sure. He turned away and ran out of the locker room as quickly as he could.

When Chanyeol got out of the locker room, he looked so fresh and relieved that it was hard to believe that something had happened in the showers, but Jongin couldn't forget the way his hyung moaned his name. so when he asked Jongin if he wanted to shower or just go home, Jongin told him to just take him home quickly.

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The resulting time spent in the dorms, when Chanyeol and Jongin are both home, is the most awkward time of Jongin’s life. He wants to hide. He wants to curl up and forget about his desires, forget about overhearing his hyung in the showers, moaning out his name like that. He wants to fade away and not have to think about anything at all.

That’s not what happens, though, and maybe Jongin is getting used to things never going his way. Chanyeol is always right there. when Kyungsoo decides to enlist, Jongin is one of the first to know. Chanyeol is a close second, since he’s always around either Jongin or Kyungsoo anyways. so Jongin no longer has someone else to cling to, a way to put distance between himself and Chanyeol. Kyungsoo sensed something was off, before going away he asked Jongin what was wrong between them. He knows Jongin adores Chanyeol, but lately the younger has been acting strange. Jongin panicked when soo noticed that but he assured the other it was stress and nothing else, that everything was alright and that Chanyeol was still an important friend; later on he noticed that the word friend doesn't go well with the meaning Chanyeol has in his life.

Somewhere in the chaos of Kyungsoo enlisting, his phone screen stops working. first he tries to fix it, he knows Chanyeol is good with electronic devices but he didn't want to ask for his help. In the end he has to purchase a new phone. He hasn't decided on the model or brand of his new phone, but one day Chanyeol cornered him and asked why he hadn't responded to his texts, so he ends up explaining to him about his broken screen and Chanyeol offers to buy him the new model of samsung that he has. Jongin denied the offer but his hyung insisted, Chanyeol started tugging at his wrist to take him outside and go shopping, and oh god the way yeol grabs him by the wrist and forces him to come with him. It's really hot, his cheeks are burning, so he decides to let his hyung drag him to the phone store to pick it up.

Later, Chanyeol offers to buy him lunch on their way there as well, and that's one of the things Jongin loves the most about his hyung- the way he's always taking care of him.

Jongin can’t stand it. Chanyeol is a perfect person, someone that takes care of him well. someone that would take care of him how he liked, someone that spoils him and make him feel safe. if he could just get past the fact that they are friends and work together. maybe, in another life, Jongin and Chanyeol met somewhere where they could be together from the start. Of course, he would never trade away the life he has now. It’s just that, sometimes, he wished for something more.

Chanyeol brings him to a bibimbap place, near the phone store, and it’s small enough that they won't be hounded by people for autographs. Still, they have caps and masks on, being cautious as they travel outside the dorms. Jongin feels something warm in his chest, Chanyeol knows that bibimbap is one of Jongin's favorite foods and he hasn't eaten it in a while. such a nice detail, another point for Chanyeol, he always pays attention to the details. They both order something simple, nothing too flashy or expensive. Chanyeol would probably still buy him the most expensive thing on the menu. Chanyeol would probably buy him the most expensive thing on any menu, Chanyeol would always buy him whatever he wants, he never puts a limit on the budget when it is about Jongin and the thought makes Jongin flustered.

When they get their food, Jongin wishes he had more gochujang, he loves spicy food. He spoons some rice and carrots to put in his mouth, looking up at Chanyeol when the other is too quiet. He doesn't expect to see the other watching him with so much fondness, sometimes he thinks his hyungs actions have a deeper meaning. He inspects his hyung’s bowl, he doesn’t want to get up to ask for more gochujang, and he knows his hyung doesn’t usually like it.

“Hyung, can I have your gochu?” he realizes as soon as it’s out of his mouth and Chanyeol is choking on a spoonful of rice, what he just said. He can’t take it back, so he just looks down at the table, his whole face red as a tomato. “I meant, well i’m sure you know I meant your sauce.” it's almost inaudible the answer he gave but he is so ashamed, they were having a nice moment and his mouth betrayed him.

Jongin is going to die. He’s going to die of embarrassment. He feels like he’s going to burst into flames with how hot his face feels. He’s sure he looks beet red, as red as the chili pepper sauce that he wanted more of. He looks up at his hyung, shame on his face. Chanyeol’s ears are red, and he is gulping a whole glass of water but he seems much better off than Jongin is faring.

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After the mishap with the bibimbap, Jongin and Chanyeol don’t see each other very often. Chanyeol is getting ready for his debut in the subunit made of him and Sehun, exo-sc. He spends a large portion of his time in the studio, working hard to get everything right. Jongin misses his hyung, but he would never admit that to anyone. Instead, he forces himself to focus on getting ready for exploration. He has a solo stage, and he wants it to be perfect. His time is spent in the dance practice rooms, going hard to make sure he gets the choreo just right. the song he chose, confession, is a really sexy song. It makes him feel powerful, like he’s in control.

Jongin loves dancing. It’s something that makes him feel free. dancing is like a drug to him, and he feels he would die without it. Jongin is a performer before anything else.he wants the people who see him dance to feel his passion. It’s what holds his whole life together. without dancing, without exo, Jongin wouldn’t know who he is. exo has become his family, has become the support he leans on when he feels weak.

The first few concerts go well, and everything works out well. Of course, Jongin always feels he could do better, always striving for perfection. Jongin’s hair had been dyed a pinkish purple color and he had temporary tattoos all over his body. those tattoos were his dad’s artwork and signature, and he had most of them on his arms. He had some on his stomach and one on his inner thigh, but he had only shown a few of the members that one. one of them, coincidentally, is a newly bleach blonde Chanyeol with an undercut. Jongin cannot get over how attractive his hyung looks. He has to hold himself back from swooning every time Chanyeol brushes his fingers through his white hair. something else has changed about Chanyeol as well. His muscles have somehow gotten bigger, and it’s driving Jongin crazy.

Since Kyungsoo is now gone, it leaves no one to be the buffer in between Chanyeol and Jongin during the concert. this would be a good thing, if Chanyeol didn’t live for sexually frustrating Jongin. He tried to focus on dancing, he really did. any time the other members were doing a ment, he would try to just dance in place and keep his head clear. that damned park Chanyeol though, was always trying to get under his skin. if it wasn’t hugging him, it was lifting his shirt. when Jongin told the fans he would post pictures of his tattoos, Chanyeol had to pipe up about how he had one on his inner thigh. It was the third day, the day where his sister and niece and nephew had come to watch the show, when Chanyeol did something that truly broke Jongin.

Chanyeol flexed his muscles in front of Jongin and asked to compare, asked him to feel his muscles. if they hadn't been on stage at that moment, Jongin would have got down on his knees and sucked the older off. god, the way his muscles flexed. His biceps were twice the size of Jongin’s, and Jongin couldn’t quit feeling them. Chanyeol’s skin was so warm, so soft but so firm under his fingers.

Jongin had to endure the time with his family, a time he usually looks forward to so much. His mind couldn’t stop wandering back to Chanyeol, to the older’s muscles. His sister kept asking him if he was alright and Jongin had to lie and tell her he was just tired from schedules. she got a look on her face, one that told him that she was worried for him, before his niece and nephew ran into his arms and smothered him in kisses. He loved them more than anything, loved them as much as he loved dancing. He wanted their futures to be bright and full of love, the way he felt with his mother and father and sisters. Jongin went to smile at Chanyeol like he had done mere hours before and the smile slipped off his face when he realized the taller wasn’t there with him. He realized, belatedly, that he wouldn’t mind taking care of a child with his hyung either.

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The birth of SuperM is, well, a surprise to everyone involved. Capitol records had reached out to SM Ent and wanted to create a supergroup, and who better to be in this group than Jongin, Baekhyun, Taemin, Mark, Taeyong, Lucas and Ten? So, Jongin goes with it. As long as he can dance, as long as he can bring smiles to his fan’s faces, that is all that matters to him. Jongin is in the practice room with the rest of the boys, going over the choreography of their new songs, when his phone starts ringing. Normally, he would ignore it during practice, but he has a special ringtone for each member of exo as well as his mother. Currently, his phone is blaring the Chanyeol tone, calling out to Jongin like a beacon.

He asks the others that had stopped dancing if they could take a quick break, and dives to the corner of the room where his bag and phone lay. He’s panting slightly, and he barely presses the button to answer the phone before the phone would have stopped ringing. He answers and brings the phone to his ear, breathing into the receiver.

“Jongin? when are you going to be home?” His hyung asks through the phone.

“Ah, hyung, we have practice for a few more hours, you know this.” Jongin responds in a breathy way, reaching with his arm for the water bottle that Lucas brings over for him. Chanyeol hums into the speaker and Jongin hears some rustling on the other end, as if Chanyeol is shifting around.

“I thought you would be back in time for us to get some take out chicken and watch a few episodes of that new drama you like.” Chanyeol’s words had an edge to it, as if Chanyeol was mad that Jongin wouldn’t be back soon.

“Oh, I think we are gonna get food together this time,” he leans over to where Lucas was sitting on the wall near him, “aren’t we going for food together, Lucas?” the younger member confirms this with Jongin before Jongin’s focus is back on the phone. “I think we are gonna go to that bbq place that has the really good beer and samgyeopsal.”

Chanyeol just hums in response and Jongin is momentarily stumped. usually Chanyeol would have something funny to say, or something to tell him.

“Yeah, uhm, Baekhyun is paying since he’s the leader now, and he’s supposed to take care of us all.” Jongin is sort of rambling. He doesn’t usually ramble, but he can’t help it. Lucas nudges him from his side and tells him it’s almost time to get back to practice. Jongin grimaces and nods his head. The other side of the call is still strangely quiet for who is on the other side. “i think we need to get back to practice, but i’ll see you soon, okay hyung?”

Chanyeol just hums in assent before hanging up.

Jongin has never felt so cold while sweaty, in the middle of the summer.

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The night that Chanyeol had called Jongin, a picture had been posted on the SuperM account. Jongin was hugging Lucas close to him and smirking. It seemed so innocent, but that night Jongin’s world fell apart. Chanyeol, his favorite hyung, his support system, started pulling away from him. They only had practice for the next rounds of exploration, no other events happening outside of practice. Jongin would try to approach Chanyeol and he would just shrug him off, claiming he was tired or needing to go do something.

It went on for a whole week. a whole week that Jongin ached every time he saw the pictures of them together. Every time he saw the bears in his room that he shared with his hyung. Whenever Jongin saw Chanyeol in the living room, he was always with Baekhyun or Jongdae. It made jealousy burn deep in Jongin’s belly. what had he done to make Chanyeol abandon him? Why was his favorite person in the world not giving him any attention?

The dam broke when Jongin followed Chanyeol into his room after practice one day. Jongin was so anxious the other would tell him to leave, but instead he just acted like he wasn’t there. Jongin didn’t know which one hurt more. He balled his fists up, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry.

“Hyung…” he started slowly, “Chanyeol hyung, why have you been avoiding me lately?” he tried to keep his voice steady, but he couldn’t help when it shook. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Chanyeol appraised him from by the bed. Jongin was still standing near the doorway, ready to bolt if he needed to.

Chanyeol set his mouth into a rigid line, sighing, before opening his mouth to speak.

“Why don’t you tell me, Jongin? Tell me what's wrong now.” He scoffed at the end of his sentence.

Jongin’s eyes widened as he heard the noise. His hyung hated him. His hyung didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Jongin felt like his heart was breaking.

“I feel… empty without hyung. Please tell me what’s wrong, we can fix it together”

“Jongin, you already have so many other people to take care of you. why do you need me?” it didn’t come out harsh, but Jongin flinched at the words anyways. Chanyeol sighed again before he shook his head. “Can you get out now, I'm exhausted and I don't have to deal with this right now.”

“Hyung,” his eyes were starting to well up with tears that he blinked away. “hyung it’s special when it’s you. no one else can take care of me like you do.” he let the tears fall from his eyes finally, bringing a hand up to wipe them away.

he was frozen in his spot when he saw Chanyeol’s face soften. Chanyeol exhaled through his nose before striding over to where he stood by the door. He cupped his face in his hands, wiping the tears that were still flowing out of Jongin’s eyes away. He looked into his teary eyes when he spoke.

“Jongin, you are the stars in my sky. I'm sorry for doing this to you. Let’s lie down for a while.”

Chanyeol led Jongin over to the bed, never letting go of him. He sat on the edge before patting his side, pulling Jongin down into the mattress. Jongin went willingly, sniffling letting up. He was still confused, was still sad, but as long as his hyung was there it was all okay.

“Jongin, baby. I'm sorry for ignoring you. At first I was doing it because I was jealous. I was trying to distance myself from you because I was angry. I was so sure you were going to leave me for someone else, and I couldn't take it. I know what I did hurt you a lot. i don’t ever want to hurt you like this again, baby.” The whole time he was speaking he was leaning back, pulling Jongin down on top of him.

Jongin wiped as his tears were still falling down.

“Hyung. hyung, you’re everything to me. Please don’t leave me again, I was so scared. It’s you who I want to come home to, it’s you who I want to see first when I wake up. Hyung, I love you.” He had his face half smashed against Chanyeol’s chest, and he was still crying. It was a wonder that Chanyeol could still understand him.

“Baby, baby look at me,” Chanyeol lifted Jongin’s head from his chest before continuing, “I love you more than the moon loves the sun. I could never love another the way I love you, darling. do you believe me?” Jongin nodded his head and closed his eyes again. He had stopped crying and now his lids were heavy.

“Hyung, I was so afraid of losing you that I never said anything before now. I feel so silly. I didn’t want to lose what we had.” he admits.

“We won’t lose what we had, nini bear. if you don’t want to do anything, we don’t have to. I'll always be your friend and hyung. I’ll always be there for you, I promise.” Chanyeol was carding his fingers through Jongin’s soft hair. Occasionally scratching and tugging on the strands.

“Hyung, can I kiss you?” Jongin was looking at Chanyeol with his eyes sparkling, his lips wet from the tears. and really, how could Chanyeol ever say no to that?

Chanyeol nodded and then craned his neck to capture Jongin’s mouth with his. Jongin’s lips were plump and warm, a little chapped. The first few kisses were chaste presses of their mouths together, testing the waters. Chanyeol quickly got bored and went to nip at Jongin’s lower lip, making the younger gasp. Chanyeol took the opportunity to tease his tongue into Jongin's now open mouth. Chanyeol’s tongue searched Jongin’s mouth in a searing kiss, one that made Jongin moan.

When Chanyeol pulled away, Jongin tried to chase his mouth with his one and whimpered when Chanyeol pulled back even farther. Chanyeol chucked at the younger before kissing his nose and his forehead.

Chanyeol placed another soft kiss to Jongin's lips, keeping it chaste this time.

"Will you let me take care of you, nini?" Chanyeol starts running his large hands that Jongin had fantasized about touching him like this so often up and down Jongin's sides, following his shoulders to his waist and down behind his back. Jongin shuddered under the ministrations, gasping out as the hands touched him, firm yet still soft.

Jongin nodded his head, going to tug his shirt off. Before he could get his shirt over his head, Chanyeol had taken both of his hands into one of his own, lifting his arms to remove the fabric. After Jongin's toned chest was revealed, Chanyeol manhandled the other to lay on his back on the bed. Chanyeol was laying on his side next to him, pressed right up against him. Jongin groaned at the way the older easily moved him around, his cock twitching in interest.

Chanyeol took his time, running his fingers up and down Jongin's chest while leaving kisses on his neck. Jongin couldn't help but let out a breathy puff of air and tilt his head to the side, allowing the older more access to his sensitive throat. Chanyeol's hand followed a path down from his collarbones to his waist, brushing up and down in strokes. He barely let his thumbs brush against Jongin's nipples, but the younger couldn't help but arch into it. It felt like Chanyeol was taking him apart.

Chanyeol soon brought his mouth to the party, trailing it down the path his hands had previously taken. soon he brought his mouth to Jongin's left nipple, sucking the bud into his mouth. He brought his hand that wasn't curled around Jongin's waist to the opposite nipples, teasing it between his fingers. Jongin whimpered at the stimulation, arching his back into Chanyeol's mouth.

Chanyeol was driving him crazy. By now, Jongin's cock was fully hard and starting to leak into his boxers, a fact that was making him flustered. Was he really so desperate for his hyung that he was already leaking after a little bit of soft petting? He felt like he was going out of his mind. It was like he was back in Rome, alone in his hotel fantasizing about Chanyeol, but this was real, and Chanyeol was there, his hands on his chest and waist, his fingers dipping below the waist band of Jongin's sweatpants.

Chanyeol's mouth departed from his swollen nipple with a lewd popping noise, his tongue that had been laving at the bud still connected by a string of saliva. He moved his mouth lower, lower, following the line of Jongin's abs down to his naval, nipping around it and leaving kisses there. Jongin let out a broken sound that sounded like a garbled version of 'hyung'.

Chanyeol's hand focused on slipping below the waistband of Jongin's sweats while his mouth stayed pressing kisses into Jongin's abdomen. Jongin bucked his hips into the hand that had come down to cup as his cock, surprised by the sound warmth of the palm that was touching him through his briefs.

"Can I take your sweats off, baby?" Chanyeol asked in that deep voice of his, nearly scrambling Jongin's brain.

"Yes, yes, oh my god hyung, please, just touch me." He begged, voice coming out strained.

Chanyeol chuckled at him before pulling down the sweats and briefs in one go, letting them pool around Jongin's calves. Jongin was on display for his hyung then, and Chanyeol took advantage of that. He let his eyes roam all over Jongin's body, taking in the sight of his swollen nipples and the saliva that was shining on his stomach from his sloppy kisses. down to his swollen cock that was straining against his stomach, smearing precum onto his pelvis.

"God, Jongin, princess, you're so beautiful for me. you have no idea how long i've wanted to take you apart like this." he went for another kiss to Jongin's mouth, letting his tongue deep into Jongin's mouth in a way to claim the other. His hand came back to Jongin’s waist, and the other to his inner thigh, running his large, calloused hand up and down, teasing the man under him.

"hyung, hyung, please, god, please touch me for real." Jongin begged when the other left his mouth for air. He was breathless and his mind was fuzzy. Chanyeol knew exactly what buttons to push to make him feel like he was free falling. Chanyeol smiled at him before going to grip his cock, keeping it in a tight and warm hold.

Jongin bucked up into his hand, moaning when Chanyeol tightened his grasps on him. Chanyeol's other hand moved from his waist to his hip, holding him against the bed. Jongin whined as he tried to buck up once more but couldn't against the arm holding him down.

Chanyeol just shushed him and started pumping his cock, pressing kisses against the side of his mouth.

"Jongin, honey, baby doll, will you be good for me?" he whispered into his ear, nipping at the lobe. At that moment he also squeezed Jongin's cock and Jongin cried out.

"Yes, hyung, yes, I'll be your good boy, I promise."

Chanyeol smiled down at him and took his mouth into another searing kiss. It was full of passion, and it conveyed everything Chanyeol was trying to tell Jongin. Chanyeol swallowed Jongin's moans as he continued to work his cock.

Jongin was so lost in his pleasure he nearly didn't realize that he was coming. the buzzing in his groin had grown and he could feel it in his toes and fingertips.

"Eh, hyung, i'm, i'm gonna-”

He was cut off by Chanyeol kissing him as he exploded into his hyung’s hand.

He was panting when Chanyeol parted from his mouth, looking into Chanyeol's brown eyes in wonder.

Chanyeol reached over him to the bedside table for a tissue, cleaning Jongin gently while Jongin came down from his high. His mind was swimming with post orgasm endorphins, and he felt calm and happy.

"Baby, you're so pretty for me right now. You did so well, I'm so proud of you." Chanyeol murmured against his ear, brushing his fingers through Jongin's soft hair. Jongin sighed in contentment as he nuzzled into Chanyeol's arm.

"How do you feel, doll?" Chanyeol asked him before pressing a chaste kiss against his forehead, he shifted his body so that they could lay more comfortably together and Jongin rolled into him.

"Hmm, good, I can’t remember the last time I had an orgasm like that."

Chanyeol's eyes shone with pride.

"I'm glad I could take care of you, princess. Are you tired?"

Jongin hummed in agreement, eyes falling shut and taking longer and longer to open each time.

"Let's get some sleep then, baby doll."

Jongin smiled at the pet name and Chanyeol got out of the bed to turn the lights off.

Jongin slept better that night than he had in a month.

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Jongin was irrevocably in love with his hyung. It hit him suddenly in the practice room, the realization that he would be lost without him. After the night when they slept in the same bed after Chanyeol gave him the best hand job he had ever received, they hadn't done much in the way of bedroom activities. Jongin was determined to change that tonight.

Chanyeol was sitting on the couch in the living room, focused on the movie that was playing in front of him. It was some older english movie about aliens, and Jongin had no interest in it at all. He was sitting on the couch next to his hyung, head in his lap as Chanyeol ran his fingers through his hair. Jongin let out a content sigh before sitting up.

"Hyung, don't you think we could be spending our free time doing something... better than this?" Jongin was pouting up at the taller, his lips pursed making them look larger than they already do.

Chanyeol moved his attention from the television set to his dongsaeng, circling his arm around his waist and pulling him closer.

"What do you suggest we do then, nini?" he asked, swiping his tongue across his bottom lip. Jongin's eyes followed the action of his tongue closely. Jongin swallowed before tugging on his hyung's wrist.

"Hmm, well we could cuddle in your bed, or maybe do something more in there as well..." Jongin trailed off. Was he so shameless as to ask his hyung to fuck him while his other hyungs were in the dorm? Apparently he was because when Chanyeol grinned and started for his room, Jongin could only smile to himself as he followed.

Once Chanyeol closed the door behind them, he was on Jongin at once. He pushed him up against the wall by the door, capturing his mouth in a searing kiss. Jongin couldn't help but moan at the way his hyung was manhandling him, moving him as if he was just a doll.

Jongin wrapped his arms around the older's muscular shoulders, holding on tight. when Chanyeol let his hands wander to Jongin's ass, he let out a small whimper. Chanyeol gripped his ass, one hand covering more than a whole cheek and Jongin couldn't help but blush. His hyung was so large, he practically dwarfed Jongin in his hold.

Jongin started thrusting his hips forward, against Chanyeol when he felt the taller's bulge against his stomach. He nearly moaned as he felt the hard member, basking in pleasure due to the fact he was the reason his hyung was so turned on.

Chanyeol backed away from his mouth, smiling down at Jongin. His eyes were sparkling and Jongin's breath caught in his throat.

"Hyung..." Jongin trailed off. He was speechless, melting under the other's gaze. Chanyeol brought his hand to cup Jongin's face, brushing his thumb along his swollen lower lip. Jongin's tongue peeked out to greet it, and he sucked the older's thumb into his mouth, looking up at him through his eyelashes.

Chanyeol moaned before he was bringing his other fingers to Jongin's mouth. Jongin wrapped his lips around his hyung's finger, swirling his tongue around them as well. Chanyeol grunted before thrusting his fingers in farther, nearly gagging the younger.

Jongin's eyes welled up with tears and he couldn't help the broken whimper that he let out as Chanyeol took his fingers out of his mouth.

Chanyeol was shushing him before his mind even came back to him, apologizing to him and telling him how awful he felt for choking him. Jongin coughed before speaking to his hyung.

"Yyung, it's really okay. I sort of liked choking on your fingers..." He looked down while his whole face flushed.

Chanyeol stopped his apologies, sucking in a quick breath. Of course Jongin would be a kinky little thing. Chanyeol was going to die, and it would be Jongin's fault.

"Why don't we sit down and talk about what we like and don't like when it comes to this sort of stuff, so I know I won't hurt you on accident." He guided the younger member to sit on his bed, sitting down next to him.

Chanyeol has his hand on Jongin’s thigh, grounding him in the present moment. He starts speaking with his deep voice that causes shudders to fall through Jongin’s body.

“So…” he starts, waiting for Jongin to respond. Jongin just looks up at his hyung through his eyelashes, head tipped down and chin tucked against his chest. He stays silent while Chanyeol takes in a deep breath.

“You’re into some kinkier things, Jongin?” his tone is prodding but not intrusive. He’s asking because he is genuinely curious and wants to know more about Jongin’s wishes and desires.

Jongin can’t stop the blush from spreading across his face, bringing his hands up to cover his flushed cheeks.

“Y-yeah, I think so, but I've never really… you know.” He cautiously explains to his hyung while the older captures his hands and pulls them from his face, holding them in his larger ones.”I tried edging once, a long time ago, and it made me feel really embarrassed.”

“That’s okay, baby. I'm glad you told me. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable talking about these things with me. if we are going to have sex, especially sex that involves kinks like choking, we need to have a clear channel of comunication, okay nini?”

Jongin nodded his head at that, squeezing the hand that is wrapped around both of his.

“You’re right hyung, thank you for being so mature and gentle with me, I really appreciate it.”

“I only want to make sure you are comfortable baby, I only want what's best for you. I know you said you haven’t explored much but have you at least investigated the things that excited you?” Chanyeol let go of Jongin's hands and moved one of his hands to cup the other’s face. “You’re so beautiful Jongin. I’m fine with you putting up boundaries and I want you to, okay? I don’t want to take too much from you and leave you feeling used.”

Jongin looked into his hyung’s eyes, seeing genuine warmth and care reflecting into his own. His breath caught in his throat due to his overwhelming feelings for this man in front of him. He felt love and adoration and fondness and attraction and the need to please.

“Thank you hyung. I guess I would say I'm interested in edging, but having someone else do it to me. I like the idea of being tied up as well. I… I really like your muscles hyung. I want you to hold me down and lift me up and manhandle me. I like the idea of you choking me with your fingers down my throat. Oh gosh this is too much.” Jongin’s face was beet red and he was looking down at the bed again, his hands fisted into the blanket they were sitting on. Chanyeol tilted his head back up once again with the hand on his chin, smiling at him.

“Thank you for sharing with me, Jongin. I’m so proud of you for telling me what you like.” He brushed his thumb over the younger’s lower lip before swooping down for a chaste kiss. “How about praisie? Which pet names do you like to be called? What kinds of things would you be okay with me calling you in the moment. Is humiliation something you’re comfortable with?”

“I- I like when you call me baby, and doll.I like it when you call me kitten and,.... princess.” Jongin tried hard to keep his eyes met with Chanyeol’s. It felt like his eyes were boring into his soul, searching for truths about Jongin that he hadn’t even uncovered. “I wanna try calling you sir… if that’s okay with you. I like the idea of calling you uhm… daddy?” he averted his eyes after that word, the blush that hadn’t left his face flaring. “Can you explain to me what humiliation is? I haven’t really looked into it much.”

Chanyeol took Jongin’s hand back into his own, squeezing it. “I’m on board with all of that, Jongin. thank you for asking. I would like it if you called me sir and daddy as well. And I love calling you all those names. As for humiliation, it’s like ifI called you names while we were having sex. It requires a lot of trust, and I'd want to make sure you are okay with it before we try it. It’s about power exchange, and we don’t have to include it if you’re not comfortable with it. An alternative is praise, where I tell you how good you are and such. They can sometimes be combined. Is there anything else you want to know about?”

Jongin swallowed before continuing the conversation. something like desire was burning in his gut, twisting around him in delicious tendrils. “I think…. I think I would like both. I trust you a lot, hyung. I know you would take care of me no matter what.” He smiled at Chanyeol, eyes sparkling. “Lets try it, and I’ll tell you if I like it, is that okay?”

Chanyeol nods his head and smiles, squeezing Jongin's hand once again before bringing the wrist to his mouth to leave a fleeting kiss. “I’m so proud of you baby, you’re doing so well with this. that’s a very good idea. Usually in situations where we have kinks like this, we would use a safeword. It’s a word you would say if you don’t feel comfortable and want me to stop doing what i’m doing. Do you understand?”

Jongin nodded his head, thinking. If it was a word he didn’t want to be thinking about during sex unless he was uncomfortable, what should it be. “hmm… What about tweety? It makes me think of how the fans call me tweety bird and I hate that thing. that would definitely kill a boner.” Jongin laughed at his own joke.

“Tweety is perfect. you are doing so well, Jongin. Of course, if you think of anything else you want to explore we can talk about it, okay? Communication and trust is so important. I’m glad we had this talk.” Chanyeol was smiling, his smile that is full of teeth, his eyes shining in admiration. Jongin’s breath caught in his throat.

“Wait, hyung, uhm. I don’t know how to say this but. I really like how you make me feel tiny. Because even though I'm really tall, you still make me seem so small. is that something?”

Chanyeol hummed before answering, taking his time to think about his answer. “That could be a few things, it could be size kink, where you get off on being smaller and me being larger. It could be humiliation, where you get excited about being humiliated that you’re smaller than me. Which one do you think it is?” Chanyeol moved his hand back to Jongin’s face, brushing his thumb across his cheek bone. “you’re so beautiful Jongin, I'm so lucky to have you like this.”

Jongin’s flush flared back up at the praise, the words settling in his mind like a drug. “I think, maybe it’s a combination of both. Like it’s humiliating that you’re bigger than me. if that makes any sense?”

Chanyeol nodded his head. “I understand that. we can explore it more in the future, I promise. I know I can't leave marks on your chest. But can I leave marks on your hips and thighs? I wanna eat you out so badly. at least once.” his eyes were beginning to darken in desire.

Jongin’s breath caught once again. god, Chanyeol eating him out. How many times had he got off to that image? It had to be countless times. Jongin felt like his brain was short circuiting. And Chanyeol marking him. The thought was so hot. Chanyeol claiming Jongin as his own. Jongin gave a full body shudder at the thought, nodding his head.

“I need you to use your words, baby. I need enthusiastic consent for everything we do in the bedroom.” Chanyeol guided Jongin to lay back against the bed, hovering over him. “Can I kiss you?”

Jongin croaked out an agreement, losing himself in the way Chanyeol’s lips overtook his.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, hyung, yes” Jongin moans out breathlessly between kisses.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

The next time they got the opportunity to have private time, Jongin was determined to see his hyung’s cock.

He had realized, belatedly, after coming from Chanyeol’s mouth on his hole and hand wrapped around his cock, that he had still not seen his hyung’s cock.

Wasn’t this what it was all about? Jongin had been thirsting after Chanyeol so long that he nearly forgot that he had yet to see the very thing he had been fantasizing about.

It was another day when the only responsibilities they had were vocal lessons and dance practice, and they could all do these things on their own time. It was around noon and Jongin and Chanyeol had just finished eating lunch together with Junmyeon and Jongdae.

The older members seemed to know that there was something going on between them, but seemed to be waiting for their confirmation before saying anything.

Jongin was happy for this, because their relationship was still new and blossoming and he wasn’t looking forward to labeling it and serving it to others for approval. What he had with Chanyeol was precious to him and he wanted to keep it close to him for as long as he could.  
After they finished the meal, Jongin was once again tugging Chanyeol back to a bedroom, Jongin’s this time. He had lube and a condom in his bedside table’s drawer and his heart was pumping quickly. He’d wanted this for so long now; he was finally going to get a taste of being underneath Chanyeol.

As soon as the door behind them was closed, Jongin told his hyung what he wanted. “I want your cock, hyung, please.” he looked at Chanyeol with puppy eyes while the older groaned at his filthy request.

Jongin backed Chanyeol against the door and caged him in with his arms. “Hyung, i’ve been a good boy today. I still haven’t seen your cock and it’s all I’ve wanted for so long. Will you be nice to me and let me have it?” he was looking at Chanyeol from underneath his lashes. He tipped his head forward to trace his tongue on Chanyeol’s neck.

Chanyeol groaned again as Jongin’s tongue mindlessly traced a path on his neck. He used his strength to reverse their positions and shove Jongin against the wall by his door. He thrust his leg in between the younger’s and ground it up against his groin.

“Baby, my pretty doll,” Jongin let out a whimper against Chanyeol’s skin at the pet names. “You’re so good for me. You want daddy’s cock? You can have it princess.” Chanyeol brought his arms below Jongin’s round bottom and lifted him. He turned them around to carry Jongin to the bed.

Jongin let out a mewl as he was lifted and carried over to the bed. This was what he had fantasized about for months. Chanyeol carrying him around as if he weighed nothing, throwing him on the bed. His weight in Chanyeol’s arms nothing more than a sack of flour. It made Jongin dizzy with lust.

“Ah, hyung, please.” Jongin wasn’t even sure of what he was begging for anymore. He felt like if he didn’t get his hands on Chanyeol’s cock right this instant, he would die.

Chanyeol was hovering over him, his arms on either side of Jongin’s head. Jongin had his arms wrapped around Chanyeol’s shoulders, gripping onto him tightly. Chanyeol had his thighs on either side of Jongin’s right leg, his knee perilously close to Jongin’s crotch.

Jongin moved his arms to reach for Chanyeol’s sweatshirt, tugging at it and making little wounded noises in his throat.

“Hyung, hyung please if you don’t get this off right now I might die. please.” Chanyeol used his own hands to tug his sweatshirt over his head, ruffling his own bleached hair on its way off. After he removed his shirt he swooped down to cover Jongin’s lips with his own, quickly plunging his tongue inside the younger’s mouth and teasing over the roof of his mouth. Jongin whimpered into the kiss while his hands were roaming all over Chanyeol’s firm chest.

Chanyeol broke the kiss and their mouths were connected by a string of saliva. Jongin’s eyes felt sensitive to the light surrounding him, pupils blown from pleasure and he was already uncomfortably hard in his briefs just from some kissing and manhandling. He would be embarrassed if he wasn’t so intent on getting his hyung naked. He moved his hands lower to Chanyeol’s sweats, slipping his hand under the waistband to cup his hyung’s cock. He gasped at the large hardness he felt under his fingers.

“Hyung, god, you’re so big.” Jongin groaned as Chanyeol thrust into his hand. The heaviness of his hyung’s cock in his hand was driving him crazy. He removed his hand to tug on the sweats.

“Off, off, off, please hyung, please.” he was begging the older to remove his pants and finally let him have what he had wanted for so long.

Chanyeol sat up so he was no longer hovering over Jongin, moving to his knees so that he could tug his sweats and boxers off his body. He had to shift around and fumble to remove them and Jongin couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. Chanyeol might have been the sexiest man that Jongin knew, but he was also the goofiest, and that was the real reason he had his heart.

Once Chanyeol finally got his sweats and boxers off and thrown off the bed he surged forward to steal the laugh off of Jongin’s lips. in one breath Jongin was laughing and in the next he was moaning into Chanyeol’s mouth.

Jongin was trying to stay focused while also letting out these tiny whimpering noises, like a wounded animal. He ran his hands down Chanyeol’s front to meet his cock. Both of them groan into the kiss when Jongin finally wraps his fingers around Chanyeol’s cock. Chanyeol parts from the kiss to pull Jongin’s shirt up over his head, trapping his arms above him in the piece of clothing.

Chanyeol trails kisses down Jongin’s chest, teasing his nipples and navel. Jongin lets out high pitched moans, fumbling his way out of the shirt.

Jongin pushes himself to sit up, bringing Chanyeol with him into an upright position. He’s breathing heavily and his hair is mussed from removing his shirt. His lips are puffy and swollen from the bruising kisses. He looks sexed out and Chanyeol loves it.

Jongin is sitting up with a naked Chanyeol between his thighs. He looks down at Chanyeol’s crotch and his eyes bulge.

“Hyung, you’re so big. how is that supposed to fit in me?” he asks while going to hold the cock in his hand. It has to be twice the size of his own, and he was only a few cm below average.

Chanyeol groaned at his words but was quick to comfort him about it.

“We can work you open first, and we don’t have to go all the way into penetration yet if you don’t want. I only want to do what you’re comfortable with, baby.” Chanyeol pressed some gentle kisses to the side of Jongin’s mouth, stroking his large hands down his back.

“But, hyung, I want you to feel good.” Jongin said with a pout on his face. He had wanted this for so long and now he was having second thoughts?

“mm, kitten you make me feel good already. I love how eager you are to please me, but I don't want to hurt you. we can try something else tonight. How about i fuck your thighs? With you on your hands and knees, okay baby?” Chanyeol’s hands trailed over Jongin’s back and up to the back of his neck where he was most sensitive. Jongin shivered in anticipation.

“Yes please hyung, let’s do that tonight. You’ll help me with it right?” Jongin brought his hand down to Chanyeol’s stomach, splaying his hand on the wide expanse in front of him.

“First of all, let's get you out of these pants.” Chanyeol’s hand went to rest on Jongin’s waist. “All you have to do for me is keep your thighs clenched together. Do you have lube?”

Jongin huffed as he pulled his tight pants down, moving around so he could get them all the way off. He crawled across the bed to his bedside drawer, pulling it open to fish out the bottle of lube he had bought.

"Why do we need lube if you aren't going to fuck me?" Jongin asked in a borderline bratty tone. Chanyeol pulled the younger into his lap.

"It will make the slide easier, and I like it wet. Don't you wanna be good for daddy, baby doll?"  
Chanyeol had his arms wrapped around Jongin's waist as he sat in his lap. dropping his hand to wrap his palm around Jongin's cock, he squeezed him in his hand. "Be a good doll and do what daddy asks."

Jongin whimpered at the attention on his cock and the pet names, bucking his hips up into Chanyeol's hand. Chanyeol used his other hand to hold Jongin's hips down against his lap.

"ah ah ah baby, be a good boy and let daddy take care of you."

Jongin groaned as he tried to thrust his hips up once more but was stopped by the hand on his hip.

"Hyuuuung," Jongin drew out the title longer than necessary. "Why are you still teasing me like this?" He pursed his plump lips into a pout, looking at the elder with his puppy dog eyes.

"Awh, is baby getting impatient for daddy to fuck his thighs?" Chanyeol's tone was teasing and sent the best kind of shiver's down Jongin's spine.

Jongin surged forward to smash his lips against Chanyeol's, silencing his words and biting his lip. Once he pulled back, Chanyeol swiped his tongue across his bottom lip where blood was collecting.

“Well, that wasn't a very good boy, Jongin. It's not nice to make your daddy bleed."

Before Jongin realized what was happening, Chanyeol had flipped him over onto his stomach. He tried to lift himself off the bed but Chanyeol pushed down on his back.

"Just stay like this. You've been a bad boy, Jongin. Just let me take care of myself. If you're good you get to come too." Chanyeol's voice had a deep gravel to it, the command in it solid and unrelenting.

Despite Jongin being a bit of a brat, he did still want to come. He let Chanyeol guide him into the position he wanted him in, knees bent and back arched, face flat against the bed and hands gripping into the duvet that covered the large mattress.

Chanyeol slid his large, rough hands over Jongin's ass. He could cup more than half of Jongin's bottom with one palm. He ran his hands to Jongin's outer thighs, pushing them together.

"Keep your thighs together, okay kitten?" Chanyeol waited for Jongin's words of affirmation before shifting from where he was kneeling behind Jongin. He reached over for the bottle of lube that was lying next to Jongin on the bed. He opened the cap and squirted a dollop out onto his open palm. He spread the cold gel onto his hard cock, giving himself a few pumps with his fist.

he guided his cock into the crease between Jongin’s ass and strong thighs, slotting himself in between the younger’s legs. He let out a groan at the tight heat that encased him. He steadied himself and folded his body over Jongin’s. He braced himself with one hand on Jongin’s right hip and the other on his left shoulder.

He started off with a shallow, slow thrust, just getting used to the tightness of being between Jongin’s thighs. Jongin was surprised by how good it felt for him, Chanyeol’s cock teasing his taint and balls on the backstroke and being long enough for the heads to rub together when he thrust all the way forward.

Jongin felt so unbelievably small under his hyung, his cock at least twice as long as his own. something about that was so humiliating but made a tight knot form in his stomach, spreading to his groin and making his cock leak precum at the thought.

Chanyeol found a rhythm soon that had both of them making sounds of pleasure, Chanyeol releasing grunts each time the head of his cock glided over Jongin’s, and Jongin making little high pitched noises each time his hyung’s cock caught his perineum.

Maybe it was because Jongin had been craving this for so long, but he was embarrassingly close to coming after a few more thrusts by Chanyeol. He clenched his thighs tighter in an attempt to stave off orgasm, in turn making Chanyeol release a deep groan.

“Hyuuung.” Jongin cried out before his cock was spurting out hot come onto the sheets below him. Chanyeol just continued his thrusting, his cockhead becoming wet from the come that was still on Jongin’s cock.

“Just a little bit of rutting got you off like this, kitten? Are you gonna be a good doll and keep your legs together for me?” Chanyeol continued his thrusting, bracing himself lower on the bed.

Jongin was left as a whimpering mess. The overstimulation making him clench his thighs even tighter together and let out whining sounds. He kept whining his hyung’s name, chanting it as if it would save him. Jongin’s eyes were welling up with tears and his mouth was left open in a silent cry. The sheets below him were soon soaked with a mixture of his spit and salty tears.

Chanyeol gave a final thrust before he was also coming, his seed mixing on the bed with Jongin’s. He laid on top of Jongin for a moment before extracting himself from the tangle they had ended up in.

Chanyeol lifted Jongin to move him over to the other side of the bed, where the sheets were clean, and laid him on his back. He took a few tissues from the box on Jongin’s bedside table, wiping Jongin’s stomach and cock clean of any lingering come.

Jongin just lay with his eyes closed, beginning to hum as Chanyeol started trailing his large hands over his stomach in a soothing way. His fingers traced arbitrary patterns on his skin, lulling him into a relaxed state.

“Nini, baby, are you here with me?” Chanyeol asked with his deep voice and Jongin opened his eyes to see Chanyeol sitting on the side of the bed, right leg up on the bed to get closer to him.

Chanyeol continued the patterns on his skin as Jongin’s mind cleared, his eyes focusing on Chanyeol more clearly.

“That was,” Jongin trailed off as his thoughts took him back to his orgasm. “You always make me come the hardest, hyung.”

Chanyeol smiled at him, leaning down to peck his forehead.

“I’m glad to have the opportunity. Are you tired? Why don’t we sleep in my bed so I can put your sheets in the wash tonight.”

Jongin hummed as he gathered himself and his phone charger, headed to his hyung’s room.

Jongin felt sated and warm, pulling Chanyeol into the bed when he came into the room.

Chanyeol threw his arm around Jongin, tangling their legs together.

he felt safe and happier than he had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for deleting the original, i was feeling insecure about the amount of response i was receiving. luckily some good friends convinced me to reupload. so thanks to chrissy and lily.
> 
> update 10-3-20   
> come talk to me on twitter! user is jongindyke


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